Morning Dreams Are Making Me Want to Sleep.

So this morning, I decided to go to bed early (around 3 AM) and I set my alarm for about 9, which is much earlier than I normally wake up.
Well, when the alarm woke me up, I had the natural reaction of hitting the worst invention in the world: the snooze button.

Now normally I never remember the dreams I have, unless they are during times when I'm not suppose to be asleep, such as naps during the day, or right after being woken up from a long sleep and allowing myself to drift into it again.


And every time this happens I realize that I'm in the dreams and have some what control over my actions and the dreams.

Anyways, I feel asleep after hitting the snooze button and I started dreaming, very vividly. And at first the alarm would awake me and cause me to hit snooze again, and I would drift back into the same dream, but eventually my dreams and reality intertwined and the alarm noise entered my dream world and created a rhythmic background music and dreamt and dreamt and I had several different dreams and several dreams that repeated or were expansions of dreams from earlier and I can remember at least 4 or so dreams, that felt as long as days and some that went from day to day, and it was like each separate dream was a day, and everything was so vivid and real and they weren't really that extreme, they felt very true and lucid.
And then I opened my eyes and noticed that it was 3 in the afternoon and I had been sleeping for 12 hours, and my alarm had been snoozed for half of that time.

And now at such an early hour (1 am) I am EXHAUSTED and have been for nearly the whole day.
Was I really sleeping/dreaming the whole time after the alarm originally went off?
Should dreaming and sleeping really be considered the same thing?
Because, through my experiences, I've come to realize that dreaming is very tiring.
It's interesting, because my whole body is tired.
But in dreaming, shouldn't it just be your mind? And maybe your eyes because of REM.

Do the muscles in our bodies respond to the way they move in our dreams?
Could a person work out and dream and magically have stronger muscles?

For some reason, it doesn't seem that illogical that our brains could be wired so complicatedly.


Dreams are very underrated.

We need to figure this shit out.

Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland is the best story ever because it inspires my brain.

history and discovery channel inspired dreams are intense

It started with me driving in the car. It was me, my mom, and 2 girls who I recognized but don't remember. I looked into the sky and saw purple and black blobs kind of, but more of like someone was dripping purple and black paint onto the sky but after a few seconds each drop would disappear and they were merging together. Then our car wouldn't start, or something and my mom left and the police went to our car and we ended up in room with 3 head government officials who were holding a meeting on the strange things and they had to like babysit us. I remember asking a lot of questions They believed it to be Nostradamus, an old astronomer who predicted the end of the world hundreds of years ago. "ha ha i watched a thing about him on the history channel the other night" i said. This whole time there was a tv in the room that had football on. I remember seeing a chart (it had two columns of four people and there was their name written in big cool writing and then a passage about them and then an anime like version of them to the right of that) of people who were suspects, or something, in what was happening and Nostradamus was on there on the top right and so was Augusten Burroughs (bottom right), the author of running with scissors. I don't really remember what happened next...wait! i do! (don't remember how it got to this point though) Okay I remember looking out the window and seeing that we were floating! all of Anaheim hills was picked out of the earth and was floating and then we just started falling and hit the ground. after we hit the ground i ran outside in what seemed to be a junk yard. then there appeared a huge fissure in the ground and Anaheim slowly tilted so that everything fell into that fissure but i was able to jump to the other side. and then the other side started tilting to (Picture folding a paper with sugar on it to get all the sugar to the middle).I then ran over to a semi-large piping and held on so that I didn't fall in. Then I saw "figures" running across my vision. I remember hearing the aliens say "destroy all cars on that side and destroy all humans on this side" or something like that. There were about 5 or 6. They looked like miniature power rangers (4-5ft tall) and they each had a different color. Then they found me hiding in a circler tube and they were firing all around me but not hitting me and then they disappeared and i felt a shot in the back of my head...but i wasn't dead somehow. then they were running to their space ship but one of them got left behind and i took his seat on the space ship without them even noticing but the pink one soon did and i just asked if i could be apart of their planet now and they agreed. They didn't even hesitate they just kind of smiled at me and were like "Okay dude sure!" they then created this huge invisible wall to block anyone from coming into Anaheim hills and we left. at their home planet they ended up taking off their masks and they looked exactly like us and they even knew English and when i asked how this was possible they said that they were all from Nostradamus and he had created them hundreds of years before. their planet was a wreck. i imagine it looked like what Iraq would look like. low ceiling stone square housing all torn down and on fire. the air was very dusty. i opened the space ship to get some fresh air but the pink one told me that my throat would catch fire. i ignored her and took two quick breaths. i remember her being very sarcastic. there was one point where we leaned in to kiss but she made a sneezing like action that was very obscene (trying to make me think that that was how they kissed) but i soon dismissed it as her just messing with me when she started giggling and we kissed. I remember being at a bar of some sorts, don't remember really what happened and i was also at some party but don't remember what happened. i just remember there were a bunch of normal people talking and laughing and having fun in like a mansion like place. they were all dressed in modern suits and stuff. Then I ended up at Davids house (but it wasn't the one he lives in now) somehow and i wanted to tell him what had happened but i stopped myself. (something else strange happened while at Davids but i cant remember..something that didn't really have to do with the aliens). I still had a phone that they had given me. it was big red plastic phone that looked like something a kid would have. everyone was talking about the aliens at Davids. i don't really remember what happened then. i remember feeling really scared that the aliens weren't going to come back for me and i kept dialing random numbers on the phone they had given me because they hadn't given me any number to call. and i remember thinking about the pink one an awful lot and wondering why there weren't any girls like that on earth. i think they ended up calling or contacting me somehow and i also ended up telling David (or someone else) about them at some point but its foggy.

then my dad woke me up :[


The coolest part about this dream was that it wasn't frightening at any point. the 'aliens' were all so calm and cool. and witty. often making sarcastic remarks.

i think i'm going to make this into a movie one day

this is the most intense dream i've ever remembered and oh man i wish i could remember more.


(edit:) I also remember looking outside and noticing that the clouds were so low on the ground and i was like wtf it was just sunny before and then the clouds kept moving and i think thats when i realized that we were floating. i also think that i might of seen it on the tv and then realized that it was me. ALSO i remember hearing about the black and purple blobs before seeing them, as if on the radio or something. ALSO the girls were best friends and i know that I liked one and one liked me but when we were in the room i was flirting with the one that liked me but i didnt like...and i dont even remember the other girl being there really. HAHAHA omg! i remember why the aliens had to go back to their spaceship! one of them (i think it was green) had to pee really really bad and he was like shaking and holding his pants hahahahaha fuck i wish i remembered more so bad.


If i remember anything else I'll keep adding it.

the complete puzzle

I am matter connected to all other matter some way or another.

I am everything.


Everyone is everything.


One big whole.


A completed puzzle broken down by single moments of feeling;
Abstract in time.
Disorted by time.
Moments of emotion and recognition.
Of freedom and compassion.

I've learned a new meaning to the word empathy.

I can feel you.
And I can feel you breathing through me and around me.
I can touch it.
I can harness it.

Energy bonds the puzzle pieces together tightly.
You can control.
You can focus the energy and channel it and create something intangible.
But you can feel it, but not in the sense of touch. In the sense of comfort.
You know it's there.


My sickness isn't getting any better...but I'm okay with that.
I could die soon and I wouldn't mind.
I wouldn't feel like my life was useless or incomplete.
It's gonna be okay because I know that now.

I like myself.

Does this even make sense to anyone but me?

Let's say that you believe in God and I said that you are God.
Well, if you've ever heard of anything called logic then this should make sense (for a believer of God):
if you exist then God exists
if you didn't exist then you wouldn't believe in God and therefore God would not exist to you.


Therefore God cannot exist without you, so you are God's creator, or you are in combination with God, or are one in the same.


I am not an atheist. I believe in God within myself. I have my own standards and morals and history. I can create and I can destroy and I can inspire. I can hate and I can love infinitely and indefinably. I can know as much as I attempt to know and I can teach as much as I attempt to teach.
And most importantly, I can think for myself and conjure up my own ideas and thoughts of judgment and forgiveness and revenge and deceit, etc. I can decide and decipher good and evil. Opinion is the fuel of my own mind and faith. Fate is something that I control within possibilities limits. I am me. Myself. My own God.

How can there be so many personalities?

How can there be so many personalities?

Why do people fall for the people they fall for?

I kind of wish I wasn't such a sucker for girls who have similar interests as I.
Why is that so attractive?


It seems like it would give something for me to talk about, but no matter one no one is ever interested in anything as much as I am, no matter what it is. If I waste time to think about it for a second that means I'll think about it a million more seconds.

And I'm constantly making references to things that no one ever really gets.

And if I really like you, you'll know it. My mind becomes one tracked all of a sudden and instead of thinking of a million things constantly, every other thought will be of you. What you're doing and if you've thought about me recently. It's hard to tell these things when you're so far away and inconsistent.

But I guess consistency is never completely possible. There aren't patterns.

Or maybe there is. Just generally though.

I always try to tell myself that I won't spill my whole heart out so much, I'll just let her come to me. But I can't help it when I don't want to lose the person.

I hope things get a little easier.

Dreams

I had a dream that I walked outside and looked into the sky and comet holmes, or something, exploded.

And then there was clarity.


I wish I could remember my dreams better.

Sometimes I wish my life really was a dream, so that I could change things. Or so that everytime I dropped out of REM, the world would end, just waiting for a new one to begin.

It's amazing how many types of melancholy there can be. There's one when you're alone and there's still one when you think you're not. People scare me.
I care too much.
Why am I so selfish?
And selfless. Selfless by means of not knowing why I am the way I am.
I can't stand up for myself because I don't want someone to ever feel as sad as I do sometimes.

What caused me to be this way. I thought I'd be ready by now, but inconsistency has always been my own worst enemy. Fuck. I need to control myself.

Everyone knows about this theory. Or concept. Or question. How come you can know what's wrong with you and not be able to fix it? But you can help anyone else that has a problem right away.

Thinking. Constently thinking. Doubt and hope. I'm sorry.

Like really sorry. If you actually do tell the truth, then I'm especially sorry and if you're trying to fuck with my head, then I'm sorry if it was too easy for you.

The recluse is born now.

Phone's on silent or off.

Computer is off or on, but lacking aim and myspace, for homework support.


I need my dignity back.

Or whatever that thing is that gives you pride and confidence and keeps you from making a fool of yourself.


I'll just need a few days, I hope.


If you really want me or need me or whatever, then I'm sorry, but you have to try harder to show it. And if you feel you shouldn't need to, then I'll probably never live up to my potential.

I really am a pretty great guy, but my flaw is being a manic, bipolar, little bitch who can't really handle any type of relationship very well.

That's why every best friend and love I've ever had are gone.

Snails see the beauty in every inch.

My two favorite quotes I've written at some point in my life:

If you didn't have a word for every feeling you ever felt wouldn't every feeling be....unique?


and



Love can only occur in short bursts.